In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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