I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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