do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize