You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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