do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
