Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
