You made me cry and you don't even care
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
