I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
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You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
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He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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