I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Randomize
