Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
i love accidental penises.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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