so that wasnt chicken after all
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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