Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
