ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
wow bdsm is so cute
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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