i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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