My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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