Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
