He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
