she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Randomize
