Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i don't like sucking hair
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Randomize
