i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
We left the knife in your bed.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
