At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
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