good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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