...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy sore nipples Batman
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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