she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
