What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Damn victory sex feels great
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