I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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