Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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