yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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