SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
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