Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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