she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Drunk is not a location!
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
