So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
