It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
