So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
