STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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