I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize
