Need sex. Gaining weight.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize