Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
