Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
So vagazzling was a success
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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