i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
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we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
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I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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