There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
