she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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