You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
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i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
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My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way