dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Betty ford says i'm here all night
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month