Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.