It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
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I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
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How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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