this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome