I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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