I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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