remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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