There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
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