I can't watch pbs sober anymore
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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