Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize