apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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