i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
