I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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