good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast