What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize