check it out our google latitudes are spooning
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
