We won't sleep together?
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
