had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
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