just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
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My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
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Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
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