hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
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