this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
