we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
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We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
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We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
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