i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize