my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
